Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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