She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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