I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize