I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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