You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Randomize