obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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