well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
