Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize