i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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