they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
