he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
