; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
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