Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
