Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
