Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Randomize
