She announced her abortion via fbk
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
