Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Randomize
