OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
