i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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