I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
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