Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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