pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
