its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
