Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Green mimosas i think yes
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
