Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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