so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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