i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
