she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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