Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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