so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
