...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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