okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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