Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
