I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Randomize
