i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize
