im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
