spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
