U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
too bad you live with your parents still
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
well you can't waste a boner
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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