Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
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