That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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