i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Randomize
