Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
