Apparently you make a good broom.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
