ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
