If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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