My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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