Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
