At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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