we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Randomize
