Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Randomize