I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
