This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Is it penis luge time yet?
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
