wat bout pragnant strippers??
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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