i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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