Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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