last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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