talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
