I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
