My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize