Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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