I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
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