yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Randomize
