i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
