how can u be prego again
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
ok first of all what the fuck
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
