wakey wakey hands off snakey
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
