I don't think brook has ever known best
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
