just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Randomize
