By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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