he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
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