apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
